We desire for wholeness, as if it is a destination, a misleading idea that one day if we fix ourselves, mend all our broken pieces, we might just get there.
But what if wholeness is available to us now?
What if there is nothing to fix but only a deeper “asking” to be loved?
I believe wholeness to be a felt experience.
We can speak of wholeness, yet it is vastly different to feel whole.
For myself, it is a clear “here I am” full and alive in all of my body, in this moment, in this breath.
Allowing the possibility of wholeness, began as a felt “emptying”.
An emptying of what I believed and was informed was wrong with me. A letting go of labelling self into separate pieces of good and bad, imperfect and unlovable.
Wholeness is not available to be felt, when our drive is intensely focused on improving or fixing what we deem shameful or broken, for this only moves further away from what is whole and perfect. Instead we are asked to courageously love those aspects of self. Warming towards them with open hearts and compassion.
Healing means to be whole and to heal there has to be heart.
There is a tender listening required to all the shamed, rejected, abandoned parts of ourselves, bringing them back without judgement and into love.
A felt wholeness knows all is welcome.
All is lovable.
We learn to be at ease and strong in the vulnerability of the discomfort because we know we can hold that close and it will ease and soften.
We do not arrive to wholeness or make whole.
We embrace wholeness.
And allow a felt experience of letting go of what we falsely identified with.
The story of what happened is not who we are. Living by it as though it is, is what keeps us separate.
We can choose to soften.
Slowly lean into effortless, into simple and lean away from drama and noise.
We can cultivate reverence for our body and a honest resonance with our heart.
Celebrate eros as our true essence and the creative pulsation of life.
This is what I know of what wholeness means …