Alone With Silence.

Silence has been my faithful companion this past year.     

Last April, overnight my life was stripped bare of all I knew and I found myself in a life I did not recognise.
A new home. A new town. Without any of my children since first becoming a mum at 18. No routine to anchor me or normalise what I would otherwise find overwhelming.
No client sessions and no familiar faces.

I was alone with silence.

It is curious our resistance to silence. How we have habitually learnt to fill up what appears to be empty with meaningless noise and doing.

Yet I felt held and comforted in its limitless presence.
And the more I softened into its stillness, the more I was welcomed into the depths of its secrets.
My body unravelled and surrendered there was no thing for me to do.
I was asked to rest and restore from the chapters past and gift myself permission to immerse into unmeasured time and all I found there.

Silence was here as a Cocoon through the emotions of this transition from full-time mum to a new era of womanhood, from hometown to Newtown.

To let go.

To allow grief, loss, acceptance and celebration.

To know myself a new.

It felt this time I could not carry on from old to new overnight. I had to take time out and pause.

The value of silence during this time of transition has been essential to all parts of my well-being and growth. Too often we muddle and push through transitions in life, of which there are many.

When we keep calm and carry on without pausing we deny ourselves the gifts and wisdom that this life experience is bringing to us.

We deny ourselves from totally feeling how this feels. Mourning and celebrating what has passed, knowing we are not leaving anything or anyone behind, but allowing all to be where it belongs on the timeline of our life.

When we keep calm and carry on, we disconnect to enable us to cope and in disconnecting from our self and our feelings we disconnect from our sense of aliveness.

Our world becomes heavy from all we are suppressing and we drudge through our days with a heavy heart that has not expressed its pain or joy.

As painful as transitions sometimes are, we find the other side that we have become more alive and deliciously in our more-ness, with a greater connection to our self because we lovingly allowed our self the time to be silent and listen. ❤️


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Michelle Roberton

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