There comes a time when we come to an understanding that our lives as an adult are being deeply influenced by the traumatic sexual events of our past, and that to give ourselves the possibilities of experiencing a healthy relationship with our bodies, our relationships and our sex, we will need to step once again into courageous shoes and transform our wounds into medicine.
Is Childhood Sexual Trauma hard to heal?
There are many layers to the impact that sexual abuse as a child has upon us. One of them will be how we define ourselves by what happened, how that made us feel and therefore what we deserve.
That in itself can be overwhelming, but the one story, if we choose to buy into it, that will keep us small, is that childhood sexual trauma is hard, if not impossible, to heal.
I believe we can get ourselves trapped in this idea and that in itself is a stumbling rock for our healing. And may even prevent us from exploring supportive methods and trusting we can.
This is not to say by any means that the journey of healing will not present challenges, resistance, and set backs.
It will, for we are re-wiring our system to new and growing a more loving, positive life “muscle” so we lean towards safe healthy choices rather than unconsciously feeding the feelings of the fragmented abused child.
In simply embracing that we will stumble as we grow from and beyond the abuse, we do not set ourselves up for failure but gentle acceptance.
The healing journey of childhood sexual trauma requires:
Courage, which whether you are aware or not, you have a huge supply of, for you survived.
Self kindness, which may not be consistent part of your current relationship with yourself but you have been making steps towards, otherwise you would not have found yourself reading these words.
Resilience. Again you have this, agree with me or not, you got back up as a child and reached where you are today, that is no easy feat.
Listening. The desire and intention to listen to the scattered and orphaned parts of yourself and your body.
The Importance of Body, Mind Medicine In Recovery Of Childhood Sexual Trauma .
Twenty Six years ago, when I began my own healing, Body/Mind medicine was not as accessible as it is today.
This is something to celebrate.
The world of therapy has accepted and embraced the truth that we are more than the chatter of the mind. Born as sensory, feeling beings our bodies absorb the effects of traumatic events in our life that then sadly wrongly inform us of who we are.
Information as children comes from how we felt.
As adults the destructive loops and patterns that we find ourselves in, stem from experiences we had that we were unable to express or understand.
In talking therapy we can logically put into perspective and make some degree of resolution with past events but it does not change how we feel and how our body reacts.
Secondly in experiences of childhood sexual abuse there can be so much that we do not have the language for, for we did not have the words to express the un-expressable.
We have overwhelming sensations, feelings, and emotions, bodily reactions but very little words.
In body mind medicine our body is given a voice, gently the un-expressible, the suppressed, the confusion, the denial, the grief, the loss, all has a space to express.
In that “emptying” a new relationship can be formed with our body as a safe place to come down and into, rather than a source of pain.
Pain from the past but also pain in the present, for from the wounded innocent we find ourselves drawn to self sabotaging behaviour, destructive patterns and unhealthy relationships with self, others and the world around us.
What do we need to heal from childhood trauma?
We need more than traditional talking therapy, that is without question.
For as children we navigated our self and the world around us through feelings. We were attuned to our sensory world, not so much what we thought, for we did not have the language for it.
We experienced and explored our environment through our senses .
Trauma was a experience that effected our nervous system, our breath, our sense of safety in our body, with others and the world around us.
It disturbed our perception of what and who was safe or not.
It scattered the “whole” we lived from, into pieces and separated our innocent essence from our body as the bodies intelligence to protect.
To heal from childhood trauma we need to recreate our roots, through a methodology that gently empowers us to not only trust sensation again but allow sensation.
An approach that eases the nervous system down from flight or fight, hypervigilance and disassociation so that we can be healthy in all responses and ranges of our nervous system.
A non judgemental approach to addictions, and behaviour patterns that have kept us in self sabotaging loop, feeding the effects of trauma.
Gentle empowerment to let go of childhood self protection and feel at ease in having a voice and healhty boundaries. , for these were relevant to the past, but in the present can keep our life limited and small.
A healthy way of relating to our body so we can meet and attend to the range of feelings and emotions.
Support the detachment of story as identity, from who we are
A Felt sense of wholeness. A softness back into body skin flesh and bone.
The awareness to know when we are projecting our story out onto the present and others and all put self into harmful situations due to having an equipped radar as to what and who is safe.
