How Am I Feeling? 
What do these four words do to my world when I let them close?
This question, so simple unfolds a journey of magic.
It provokes me often with a gnarly brittle finger … and sometimes with the lightest of fingertips … to “check in”, to get real.
Not scratch the surface of who I am so that life can bimble on by, but to really know myself today and attend to what I need.
It is not DEEP as in “Whooh, that’s deep girl.”
But it does have depth.
Substance.
Down and on your knees dirty.
Of course, the answer is not always doom and gloom and maybe our assumption that it will be, is what prevents us from opening that door?
Life is, if we chose to see it, awesome!
Doom and Gloom only seem more frequent as we wrongly or rightly cling to it more with our labels, emotional attachments and confrontation of “Why the fuck are you here ruining my day AGAIN?”
Yet, look how easily we let the tickle of laughter, the warmth of joy, the secrets within a smile, a lover’s caress, a breath … all slip and pass by. We don’t cling so stubbornly because we WANT this feeling … just not that one!
To ask myself “How am I feeling?” Gives me a valuable opportunity to pause.
To come home.
To “be” from where I am authentically at.
It drops me down from the thoughts of my head that seldom make much bloody sense *grin* and into this breath … and this breath.
Into the openness of my heart.
The softness of my belly.
The aching of my Cunt for a greater connection to this vehicle of womanly wants and desires.
These words fire me to deal with it.
Witness.
Accept.
And from there, there is the silent and most delicate breeze of flow.
This self-enquiry empowers and inspires me to explore with curiosity, who I am and the courage to own all the faces of who that maybe.
These four words spiral me up and out of an inability to move from and reach out towards how I WANT to be feeling. The gift of listening to what may seem like more shit, revealing a secret unspoken diamond.
“To FEEL” has been sadly burdened down with the heavy reputation of being deep … weak, vulnerable, volatile, flimsy, not for men, not for the strong.
Far less valuable to life, than a thought.
Yet to feel is to be strong. For only the weak will not venture into the heart, will not care for the whispers of secrets they hold inside like buried treasures … the magical doorways that just open and open and open who we are and all our unseen possibilities.
So “How am I feeling?”.
Is that a question of strength or weakness?
To be numb or to be alive?
Dare To Feel ♥️
